


monsters dont get happy endings (except they do)

by aspoonfulofmoonlight



Series: what matters most (is how well you walk through the fire) [1]
Category: Captain America, Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Baby, Bae, Bottom Steve, Bucky Barne, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Captain America - Freeform, Captain America the Winter Soldier - Freeform, Comforting Steve, Cute, Drabble, Ficlet, Fluff, Fluffy, Hospital, Husbands, I promise, Kid Fic, Love, M/M, New Dads, No Angst, No Sex, No Smut, Sickeningly Sweet, Steve Rogers Feels, Stucy - Freeform, Top Bucky, cheesy ending, dad fic, dads, daughter - Freeform, fluff fluff fluff, i love tags, idk mn, just cuteness, married, post captain america the winter soldier, post winter soldier Bucky, recovered bucky, recovering bucky, seriouly so disgustingly fluffy, steve rogers - Freeform, stucky feels, they just really love each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-21
Updated: 2014-09-21
Packaged: 2018-02-18 07:28:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2340125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aspoonfulofmoonlight/pseuds/aspoonfulofmoonlight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky holds his baby girl for the very first time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	monsters dont get happy endings (except they do)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! So this is part one in my What Matters Most collection, a little series of stucky ficlets/drabbles. The ficlets will be just random little ones, whatever pops into my head really- it might be back from when Steve and Bucky were in the war, pre-serum Steve, even an au. But if I do add a continuation of a certain storyline such as this one, the next work will be the next chapter, not the next work in the series. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy! Also, PLEASE leave me prompts and or requests! PLEASE!!!!!!!!

She was so small, Bucky thought in awe. Steve had told him she would be; they'd even looked at pictures on the inter-web or whatever is was called. But staring down at her now, pink and tiny and fragile, he thought that those images must have been lying. She wasn't even half the length of Bucky's forearm.

Steve was on the hospital bed now, looking tired and drained but happy, with those white scratchy hospital sheets pulled up to his waist and their baby daughter cradled in his arms.

Bucky couldn't help but feel a surge of pride whenever he looked at his Stevie with that little baby in his arms. 9 months of pain and morning sickness and exhaustion, 5 months of press and reporters and journalists camping outside of their apartment trying desperately to get a glimpse of the pregnant Cap, 17 hours of gruelling labor, and now here he was, on the other side of it all.

She was definitely Steve's daughter, Bucky thought, gently lacing his fingers with Steve's and rubbing slow circles on his husbands palm. He could tell even now when she lay fast asleep, wrapped in a little pink blanket with her little knees and elbows bent at soft angles. She had Steve's nose, his eyebrows, and his blonde hair, although she didn't really have much of it yet. She had the same fingers, obviously quite small, but slender even now at barely 2 hours old; artists' hands. But she did have some elements of Bucky in her too; the same shaped lips, same forehead, same chin. More subtle qualities, but there none the less. And she had these curious, bright blue eyes that really could have come from either of them.

Steve squeezed his hand, and when Bucky looked up at him, there was a smile on his face. He didn't say anything, but Bucky understood, and he didn't protest when Steve, with his free hand, pulled him in for a kiss.

That was _their_ daughter, Bucky realized suddenly when he sat back down, pulling the chair impossibly closer to Steve's hospital bed. Their daughter, that they had made together, a little piece of Steve and a little piece of Bucky, and she was _theirs._ They'd been through hell and back together, him and Steve, and now here they were, sitting together in a hospital room with the sun shining in through the window and and exhaustion written in the lines of both of their faces, but the part of Bucky that was really Bucky was happier than he had ever been in his life.

It had been 4 years. 4 years since the Winter Soldier and the helicarriers and the day he'd showed up at Steve's apartment lost and alone and confused. It had been 4 years, but that still hadn't been long enough to kill the little voice that whispered in the back of Bucky's mind, that didn't change the fact that Bucky was a monster. It didn't change the fact that he had killed innocent people, that he had tried to kill Steve, that he was incapable of love now- the real kind, at least.

But he was beginning to question that, as he looked down at his little girl and felt a kind of love he hadn't even known existed before seep into him and warm his fingers and toes and fill him to the brim with a happy and fuzzy feeling. A monster wouldn't be able to do this, he thought to himself. A monster could never create something this beautiful and special with someone who he loved as deeply and as specially as he loved Steve. And maybe he wasn't as much of a monster as he thought he was.

"Do you want to hold her?" Steve asked gently, and his voice was hoarse from the delivery but still soft and genuine. When Bucky looked at him again, his eyes showed nothing but a smile.

Realizing that he had been rubbing their daughters arm gently, he drew his hand away and put it back in his lap. Did he want to hold her? Of course he did. There was nothing in the world he wanted more. But he... he didn't know what to do. What if he hurt her? "I can't."

Steve's face fell, and he frowned. "Why?"

Bucky didn't want to say. What if Steve hated him? What if he didn't want Bucky to be her dad? His shoulders sagging, he buried his face in his hands. "I don't want to hurt her." He mumbled into his fingers.

Steve said nothing. And then nothing. And then some more nothing. And then, to Bucky's surprise, he laughed. And he laughed and he laughed and he laughed, and when Bucky looked up at him in confusion he laughed some more. "Jesus, Bucky," He said when his laughter had tapered off to a grin. "C'mere." Steve shifted over on the bed, and Bucky caught the smallest wince of pain flash across his husbands face before he obediently stood up and shuffled onto the bed, hyperaware of Steve and his daughter lying there, careful not to so much as bump them in case he woke her. Lowering himself down, they were pressed up side to side in the single bed, and Bucky lay his head down lightly on Steve's shoulder. A few stray pieces of brown hair fell in his eyes, and he pushed them away. "You are an idiot, James Barnes." Steve said fondly, and Bucky could _feel_ his smile.

"Shaddup, Stevie," Bucky muttered, though he couldn't help the smile that spread across his face. They sat in comfortable silence for a moment; the only sounds were their breathing and that of their daughters, who was still resting in Steve's arms.

"You won't hurt her." Steve said finally.

"But what if I do?" Bucky sighed. "You know what I was, Stevie. You know what I did. If she knew what I was, she wouldn't want me as her father. I'm a monster, Steve. I don't know what to do. Monster's aren't supposed to get families." Steve hesitated for less than a millisecond.

"You're not a monster, Buck." He said gently. "I wouldn't have married you if you were, you punk. Those things you did; they weren't you. Damn anyone who says differently. This little girl right here don't know any different. All she knows is that you're her dad. That's good enough for me, and that's good enough for her. And that's all that matters."

Bucky heard him, and he knew where Steve was coming from, but he still had the nagging thought in the back of his mind telling him that he would hurt her, he would fail. "But... what if I do?"

It was barely a whisper. And he turned to look in Steve's eyes, that were looking back at him with nothing but love, shining like a promise. "You won't."

And so Bucky took a shaky breath and quieted the voice in his head, and he turned to get in a more comfortable position, reaching over, gently gently gently. And when Steve handed her to him, it was like a wave of relief went over Bucky and all the worry just fell away.

He was her father. He was supposed to do this. This was _right_.

And when he cradled her sleeping figure in his arms, still fast asleep, he had no doubts about that. It felt so natural. Like this was where he was meant to be. And from the way Steve leaned over and pressed a lingering kiss to Bucky's cheek, he knew Steve could feel it too.

She was so beautiful, he thought to himself, looking down at her in awe. She seemed even smaller up close. Holding her in his human arm, Bucky had no choice but to use his cybernetic hand to push back her hair, to adjust her blanket. But to his surprise, it felt... okay.

And then she opened her little eyes, and the blue was almost impossibly bright, and it made Bucky's throat catch. As she looked up at him curiously, with wide eyes pure and innocent, he couldn't believe that he had managed to create something so beautiful. She reached up and took hold of his finger, her tiny hand wrapping around the metal, barley spanning three quarters of it, and Bucky smiled a real genuine smile.

And so did Steve.

And while he sat there next to Steve with his baby girl in his arms, Bucky thought... maybe everything really was going to be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE leave your kudos and comments!! :D <3
> 
> LEAVE ME PROMPTS IN THE COMMENT SECTION!!!!! (Read the above note to see what I mean :))


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